Its Here

FINALLY THE DAY HAS COME!!

Mum has gone to theatre and her blog will be updated as soon as there's any news. I will post them as soon as I figure out how to. Or I may just wait 

Thank you all for the kind messages.

-Caroline x

Here We Go

So todays the day. And Im ready to go. 

Heres the hospital...and a photo of the man in whose hands I am placing my life...Dr Im.. I know he will be amazing.

I had so many phone calls yesterday. I got to video chat with my gorgeous grandson,,, who was torn between me and his IPad. But he was pretty excited about his new house...and did tell me he loved me a couple of times ..bless. Also a call from my Auntie and Uncle in the Uk who never fail to make me laugh. Plus a call from Dr Phan..wishing me well and telling me he will see me after surgery. And two or three calls from different medical staff...checking forms were filled in...telling me how much the surgery will cost (HOW MUCH!!!!!) and another telling me about the procedure and what I can take in with me...which right now is nothing. So I have unpacked my case and just made up a little bag for MrD to bring for me after surgery. 

I want to thank you all for all you kind messages. your love and your prayers. Up til now I am not worried..scared or even nervous. Although I may be once I get there. But I have every confidence in the doctors I know they will do their very best for me. I am so grateful to you all

I have never asked you for anything.. but today I ask that you pray for my doctors to guide their hands..Also I ask that you pray for my family ..especially MrD and my children.. to calm their fears and give them strength to get through this worrying time.

The next time I speak to you this will be all done and dusted. 

I am so ready!

Bring it on 

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

A Day with Roses

Today is the day before my surgery. Im feeling ok...no worries. I have dragged myself around and all the laundry is done and everywhere is clean and tidy. I know..I know...but its always something Ive done if I go away. Heaven forbid something happens and someone comes in and finds a speck of dust...or opens a cupboard and finds something out of place. Does anyone else do that??

Anyway I have to drink a whole bottle of pre op stuff soon ( you know what for) so I took a little walk outside in the sunshine.

. Just look at the beautiful roses

Spring time in California. 

Stunning.

So now Im all packed and ready to go. Roll on tomorrow. 

It cant come soon enough

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

8 days... and Counting

Just one week and Miss C will be here

She's started packing...

but I hope she's not packing the cats too..

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

Teal Tuesday

Its Tuesday.. three days til my surgery.. and Im wearing teal. Theres a lot of teal going on in my blog right now...as you may have noticed

Teal is the colour that represents ovarian cancer...just like pink represents breast cancer.  Although it is less common than breast cancer..it causes more deaths.. basically because the symptoms are hard to detect until it is at a later stage.

This is why whatever the outcome of the surgery.. if I have cancer or not.. and if I have cancer what stage.,,I will continue to push ovarian cancer awareness. There is so much I didnt know but I will keep pushing the info. I will make sure my daughter and grand daughters are clued up...and hope that others will be able to catch the symptoms of this silent killer sooner than I did.

Friday cant come soon enough now. Although the meds are good and dulled the pain..I'm worn out .. a groggy and feel a bit yuck. 

But.. Im still smiling.

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

Happy Birthday Auntie J xx

Happy Birthday to the Lovely Lady who has been more like a big sister than an aunt. 

With only 13 years between us we have always been close. 

My Nana used to call me her little shadow..

although on this pic Im not that small!

Growing up I admired her so much...as you can see from the look on my face as I gaze at her. 

I always wanted her little fat toes and her lilac dressing gown... 

one out of two isnt bad. 

Have a wonderful day Auntie Jan

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

Sunday Thought ~ Exodus 14:14

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

Boots, Hats, Blingy Belts.....and Fish and Chips!!!

Have you ever wanted to kiss someone you shouldnt...you know...a really big kiss with a massive bear hug. Well right now...I do...and the lucky (or not so lucky) guy is Dr Phan. At last..my meds are at a level that I have hardly any pain...and I feel so normal again. Thank you doctor ..you are a little star!! Its such a relief to know I will spend the time up to this Fridays surgery.. virtually pain free

I feel so well we have been do a little bit of supermarket shopping.. got a few things for me to take into hospital and had lunch out. And I was able to eat something other than soup. Fish and chips!! Not quite the English version ..it had fries and not proper chips...and coleslaw instead of mushy peas. But the fish tasted like home and although I could only manage one piece ..tasted bloomin' lovely.

Hubby also needed some new work boots so we went to the "Boot Barn". Im afraid i didnt get to help him with his boots... I was too busy trying on cowboy boots... 

hats...

and blingy belts. 

I feel so well right now...I even think I could ride a horse!!

or maybe not.....

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

Spring Pretties

Im sorry Im late posting..I kinda slept the day away until we went to see Dr Phan this afternoon. And although it was only a short walk it was wonderful being out in the Spring sunshine with MrD. He says he had forgotten how it used to be when we were out and about...me stopping every few steps to take pics of any thing that caught my eye. But this time of year..there is so much prettiness...I cant help myself.

So..the doctors meeting didnt take long. My blood pressure was a bit high...and I have lost 22lb in 4 weeks. My tummy is very hard and bloated and even though my trousers have an elasticated waist they are tight on my stomach. ( I have some bigger size leggings I will have to start wearing)

Any way...it dawned on us yesterday why we are seeing Dr Phan. As well as being a liason between doctors...and an interim care while waiting for surgery.. he will also be in charge of my chemo if I need it. Hes so approachable I was able to ask him a lot of questions and he has put my mind at ease. He has given me some really strong pain killers which should kick in by tomorrow and I take them whether Im in pain or not, Also.. we have made a provisional appointment for the 14th April to get the biopsy results and see where we head. Provisional because as its Good Friday his receptionist wasnt sure if they closed or not (go figure but that might have been me confusing her) and provisional in case we get anxious and want to know earlier (the results should be in after 5 days) He said they dont give results over the phone because there is usually a lot to discuss and so its better to have people in his office. With it being on the 14th..it means that MissC and MrP can come in with us too. 

So thats where we stand now...and this time next week the little bugger will be out. Im a happy bunny 

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

A Teeter~Totter Day

It really has been an up and down kinda day. Last night Dr Im's office called and told me I have my surgery on Saturday. They said he would be calling me today with times and instructions. 

I was so relieved as its been quite a journey. Although I have been in growing pain since Christmas..its my fault I didnt go to the doctors sooner. And of course.. the symptoms suggested diverticulitis. It wasnt til the bleeding started that the diagnoses took a different turn. Its just 4 weeks today that they found that lump in my abdomen. And boy have they pulled out all the stops for me.This tumour on my ovary has got to come out !! Although I am a chubby bunny..I can actually see that my left side is more swollen that the right...Well the tumour is 9cm..the size of a baseball..and growing. And it reminds me every second that its there.

But as with all good plans.. they sometimes come unstuck.

This morning my surgeon  called me. He said he has been going over the scans and biopsies etc.. and he is happy the stomach masses are not cancerous. But he says the tumour has grown and could possibly be attached to the bowel. So..to be on the safe side, he wants a bowel specialist with him when I have my surgery, just in case any extra procedure needs to be done. Unfortunately the bowel surgeon is not available this Saturday...so he has moved my operation to next Friday at 12 noon.

I am of course bitterly disappointed..and rather tearful...because the pain is so bad. But I understand he is doing the right thing. It would be terrible if he opened me up  and found something he couldnt do. So hes covering all the bases. Good man!

So Next Friday is the day. The surgery...I can deal with it. The stomach masses.. I can deal with it. Hopefully the tumour..like the stomach masses.. is not cancerous... but if it is... I can deal with it.

I have such a fantastic support system that are praying for me, encouraging me, and loving me. And that includes every one of you reading this. I can feel every virtual hug.. every good wish and every positive vibe. 

So one more week....
I can do this

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

Good News!

Good News!. 

The biopsy results show there is 'no malignancy' in the stomach masses. Obviously there is something going on and we will perhaps know more when we see Dr Phan on Friday. But its a relief as it now means that we can schedule the surgery and get this ovarian tumour out. I'm certain there will be no cancer there either, 

Thank you all for your positiveity, prayers and good wishes. I am very grateful and feel very loved

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

A Few Snaps

So there was no news yesterday. My GP's office said the stomach biopsy results hadnt come in yet so I will call again today. This could be why the surgeon didnt call yesterday...so fingers crossed for today. I will be so glad to get the ovarian tumour out. its giving me so much pain right now and compound that with the pain in my stomach, back and down my leg..Im pretty well worn out. I really am an old crock!

I so miss going out on my daily walks and taking photos. I took a few snaps when I went for my blood tests yesterday.. 

My usual flower pic. I have so many but the colour caught my eye. 

Anyone know what it is? 

A picture of the Norwalk water tower with added blue skies and a token palm tree. 

And one of a school I pass occasionally when Im out and about.

You may recognize it by another name.. Rydell High

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

Just a Little Something

What a terrible, terrible weekend it was. The pain didnt stop for a second. I did manage to eat a little something when it eased slightly. On Saturday, a bowl of greek yogurt, with a little granola and some mango..but the rest of the time it just hurt too much. I just tried to sleep the pain away. 

I woke up at about 2 am Sunday morning and the pain was excruciating...I just didnt know what to do about it..and neither did my poor hubby who feels quite helpless. But just having him here helps

The pain is no longer just in my abdomen and back..but across my stomach too. Im wondering if eating is aggravating it. So Sunday I just had a banana..and a little soup. Im too wary to eat right now.

Apart from that... there's nothing new to report just yet. No phone calls from my doctors about either the biopsy results or surgery appointment. I have..however...got to pick up some more painkillers...which I will do when I go for blood tests this afternoon..(If I have any left for them to take!!). 

The pain itself is quite manageable to day.. so I've coloured my hair (I have to look good for my op)...done laundry..bleached the bathroom...and Im going to start putting out my Spring and Easter ornaments. Oh boy am I going to get my ear bent by certain family members!! 

Ah well...I have to pass the time somehow.

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

SundayThought ~ Psalm 116:2

Love and Hugs

Phoebe x

Birthday Girl

Happy Birthday to my beautiful Mum...

I still miss our daily phone calls...

Right now I really wish you were here..

you would now what to say to make me feel better

But I still talk to you...

I hope you can hear me. 

Until we meet again.. 

All my love always

Phoebe xxx

My Rock....

Happy Birthday to my amazing hubby. We have a wonderful, happy marriage, with lots of adventure, fun and laughter and we have never had a cross word. He is my absolute rock. The voice of reason. My fountain of wisdom. My mountain of strength. His love and support and his unfailing faith that everything will be ok is getting me through this testing time. 

And how is he spending his birthday afternoon?...Taking me to the doctors and holding my hand while I have more blood tests.. 

Maybe we can squeeze in a couple of beers for him on the way home. 

Love you Mr D xxx