Earlier this week I paid an unscheduled visit to see Dr Phan. It appears I have a urine infection which will be cleared up with creams and antibiotics... and a rather painful lump in my left armpit.. which dosnt appear to be in my lymph node.. but will be monitored.
Because I was his last patient of the day... I was able to have a lovely chat with him and he asked if I had any concerns. Of course I mentioned the nausea, the head sores and the face sores. I told him I had never been so tired in my life. And because of the tiredness I am sitting around too much and Im trying to watch what Im eating, but my weight is going up...tho not as much as my increasing size says I should be. It took me a lot of hard work to lose nearly 100lb... and Im so disappointed.its going back on. Moan. moan, moan.
He just smiled in own cheery way and said... its the side effects of the chemo...and all the steroids...including todays new symptoms. Not to worry. Then he asked if I thought I could cope with this new treatment... or would I like to change it. I thought for a second and then something dawned on me. I thanked him and said "no Ive come this far..its a bit late to change again now"
You see... what occurred to me is... that four weeks today...just four short weeks.. I will be having my last chemo. No more chemo..no radiation.. nada.. nothing... all done and dusted.
So what the heck am I worried about. All the side effects will disappear and my hair will come back. So Ive put on weight... Ive lost it before I can do it again. Ive come through one of the darkest times in my life...met it head on...with Faith, Hope and Optimism. And Im still here...
And Im still smiling.
Love and Hugs
Phoebe x
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